All grown up!

It's been a week full of milestones in our house! AD is finally toilet-trained during the day. I can't express to you how exciting this is for me. If you've ever had a child who is headstrong and strong willed at almost everything, then you understand why this small biological feat is so important. It's the beginning of an independence that I have craved for her. I'll admit, I've been rather lazy about training her, giving her the opportunity to figure it out herself while minimizing the mess that comes along with the whole act. There isn't much of an opportunity in life to discuss these sorts of things unless you're a parent and I didn't want to become that mother who did nothing but talk about how amazing it was when the potty was filled without prompting. Yes, there were texts sent to my husband regarding bladder functions (hers, not mine) but I refused to fret or fuss about the whole experience. Since she's my last child in diapers, I was determined to just lay low and let her figure it out. And you know what? She pretty much did. So score one for lazy parenting!

Our other milestone, closely tied to toilet-training, is that AD is in a 'big-girl-bed' now. I have to say, she's done amazing. I won't deny that there was a lot of rule setting beforehand, but she doesn't get out of bed at all. It's glorious. For now. But I'm telling you, right now I need a few wins.

With all these milestones, one might be thinking that I'm feeling nostalgic about my sweet girl growing up. Nope. Not in the least. And here's why: I am tired of toddlers. There, I said it. I'm so looking forward to the days when diapers are a thing of the past. When I'm not required to get the 33rd cup of milk for that day and they can just get it themselves. When my husband and I can have a conversation that lasts more than three minutes without one of us being interrupted about the bird flying outside or the boogie they've discovered on their finger. The Mommy-shamers would call me cruel, heartless, cold. Go ahead, if it makes you feel better. But I'm tired. Not just physically tired, because yes, I am that. But every kind of tired: spiritually, emotionally, mentally. I find it hard to enjoy life these days because of the exhaustion. I would love to say that I'm working on fixing that, but that's another post for another time.

So, as the milestones come and go, I will celebrate them and move on without a glint of sadness in my eye. I will simply revel in the fact that I've helped them on the path to growing up and becoming a person. And that's good enough for me, for now.

Twins, really?!

Ever since AD was born, people have been telling us that she and G are practically twins. I have to admit, they look A LOT alike. At first, it was funny. Now? I'm not laughing anymore. The similarities are not only uncanny, they're making me nervous. I've already posted about AD's heart murmur; she has an echo-cardiogram scheduled for Monday, November 25. We're still hopeful that what the nurse has told us is true and that AD's murmur is benign. TDH Man and I are trying to ignore the repeated phrases that we heard when G had his evaluations: "Oh, I'm sure it's nothing... it sounds benign!" Instead, we're trying to focus on the odds: a congenital heart defect is pretty rare and to have TWO kids with it? Well, that would just be downright crazy. Right?

And then this past Monday, I took G and AD for kidney ultrasounds. We already knew that G has a duplex collection system on his right kidney, probably related to his microtia and atresia, since the kidneys and ears develop at the same time in utero. A few weeks ago, AD had a terribly high fever, spiking at 105 for a time. The pediatrician's office did a catheterized urine catch and the results came back as having a mild UTI. I have my doubts about that because her fever broke without ever taking any antibiotics and the fever resolved itself. Still, it was scary and because she's so young, the doctor wanted her kidneys evaluated to rule out any physical anomaly. Wouldn't you know it, they found that the tubes in her right kidney are split, so she has two where only one should be. We aren't sure what this means for her yet, but the next round of tests will be on Friday morning. They'll inject her bladder with contrasting dye to see if she has a reflux issue in her kidneys and once we know that result, we'll figure out the next step.

But, of course, that's not all. Here we were, worrying about our AD when G decided he didn't want to be left out of the testing-fun. You know it's never a good sign when, after the ultrasound tech leaves to check to see if she 'got enough good pictures', she brings the doctor on-duty back into the room with her. I have to say, my heart sunk a bit when she walked into the room. She gave me a brief run-down of both results, but I guess I was focused so much on AD that I didn't really understand what she was saying about G. Turns out his kidney is swelling and it's probably caused by a blockage somewhere. So now he has to go for more tests and yet another doctor.  Are you keeping track of how many specialists see G now?  Here!  Let me list them for you!

Maxillofacial surgeon - for Hemifacial microsomia
Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeon - for Microtia
Cardiac Surgeon - for an Atrioventricular Septal Defect and cleft valve
Otologist - for Atresia and hearing loss
Audiologist - for hearing loss
Physical therapist - for gross motor delays
Occupational therapist - for fine motor delays
Hearing therapist - for severe deafness in right ear
Urologist - for Hydronephrosis

No wonder I'm dizzy...

Perspective

I have a day to myself, oh, yes I do. E had a dental cleaning this morning, so I took the opportunity to take a day off and sit at home. Normally, I'd use the time to catch up on housecleaning and call it a day. But I promised myself that I'd do some things for ME this time around. And so, here I am, writing a long-due blog post. What else have I done today for me? Yes, laundry and dishes, but I also cut my nails. That sounds like such a silly, small thing, doesn't it? It's all about perspective.

I've realized more and more lately that everything in my world is about perspective. There are some times when I'm really proud to be able to say I have a decent perspective on a situation and sometimes, I miss the mark completely. TDH Man almost always has a perspective that I envy. He's a person that's open to what life throws at him; I can only think of one time when something threw him for a real loop and it's not something I'd care to have happen again. I struggle with keeping things in perspective, especially when it comes to the kids. G just turned three and he is quite the handful. I was blessed to have my first boy be relatively easy. Perhaps God made him that way because everything else in my life at the time he was born was complete chaos. G, on the other hand, has been a handful since the second he was conceived. I'm trying to learn to embrace that, to watch him as he grows and to revel in the gifts that God has given him even when they don't jive with what I'd like them to be. He's strong-willed? Perhaps that's God's gift to him to be able to persevere through the medical issues that are ahead of him (or even those that are already behind him). He's not affectionate? Perhaps that's God's gift to him so that he won't get his feelings hurt by others when they realize he has physical differences and when he does get to be close to someone, he's certain they love him for him. I don't know, but it's got to be in the perspective.

AD had her nine-month appointment yesterday and the pediatrician found a heart murmur. I smiled. Yes, you read that right: I smiled. Not because I'm happy that he found something that could potentially cause us to have to walk the same path we've walked with G, but because I know that this is part of God's plan. Perhaps AD has holes in her heart, just as G did and God put her in our family because her parents and brother have already gone down that path in life. Perspective.

So now, while I pray that our little girl doesn't have to go through open-heart surgery, I am grateful that we've done it before and we know what's ahead if that's what it comes to for her.