It's been a week full of milestones in our house! AD is finally toilet-trained during the day. I can't express to you how exciting this is for me. If you've ever had a child who is headstrong and strong willed at almost everything, then you understand why this small biological feat is so important. It's the beginning of an independence that I have craved for her. I'll admit, I've been rather lazy about training her, giving her the opportunity to figure it out herself while minimizing the mess that comes along with the whole act. There isn't much of an opportunity in life to discuss these sorts of things unless you're a parent and I didn't want to become that mother who did nothing but talk about how amazing it was when the potty was filled without prompting. Yes, there were texts sent to my husband regarding bladder functions (hers, not mine) but I refused to fret or fuss about the whole experience. Since she's my last child in diapers, I was determined to just lay low and let her figure it out. And you know what? She pretty much did. So score one for lazy parenting!
Our other milestone, closely tied to toilet-training, is that AD is in a 'big-girl-bed' now. I have to say, she's done amazing. I won't deny that there was a lot of rule setting beforehand, but she doesn't get out of bed at all. It's glorious. For now. But I'm telling you, right now I need a few wins.
With all these milestones, one might be thinking that I'm feeling nostalgic about my sweet girl growing up. Nope. Not in the least. And here's why: I am tired of toddlers. There, I said it. I'm so looking forward to the days when diapers are a thing of the past. When I'm not required to get the 33rd cup of milk for that day and they can just get it themselves. When my husband and I can have a conversation that lasts more than three minutes without one of us being interrupted about the bird flying outside or the boogie they've discovered on their finger. The Mommy-shamers would call me cruel, heartless, cold. Go ahead, if it makes you feel better. But I'm tired. Not just physically tired, because yes, I am that. But every kind of tired: spiritually, emotionally, mentally. I find it hard to enjoy life these days because of the exhaustion. I would love to say that I'm working on fixing that, but that's another post for another time.
So, as the milestones come and go, I will celebrate them and move on without a glint of sadness in my eye. I will simply revel in the fact that I've helped them on the path to growing up and becoming a person. And that's good enough for me, for now.
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
This life, continued.
Oh, gracious, where can I start?
We've been Texans for over a year now. Wow! It's weird to know that something that I've dreamed about my entire life has come true. I have been talking about moving to Texas for so long that I think my NE friends looked at my intentions to move as one of those obsessions that was just part of me. Like traveling to Germany (which I am still determined to do), and own a cow (which I am not sure whether or not I will do). But yet, here we are, Texans at last. A friend, who also happens to be a Texas transplant, told me that you have to spend at least 10 years in the state before you can call yourself a true Texan. To that, I say BAH! My heart has been here for at least 20 years. I think I've earned the title.
So, what HAS been going on since we've uprooted life and settled so far from home? Oh, so much. We've found an amazing group of friends, a beautiful home and neighborhood, thrown myself headlong into homeschooling, and adopted a dog. And we're helping plant a church. Basically, we've been building a home again. Away from what we know, what we've grown up with, what we've surrounded ourselves with. We're setting down roots. And it's amazing.
And yet, it hasn't been all fun, all the time. It's been hard. For reasons that I can't explain. We discovered that G is most likely profoundly gifted. It sounds like such a blessing and yet, it's really not. It's amazing that God has blessed him with this incredible brain, but it's so hard, so hard to parent him and not lose my sanity in the meantime. It's been hard to leave E behind and know that he's growing up and I'm missing parts of his life that I will not get back. I can't tell you how many nights I've kept myself awake hoping, praying that I've done the right thing for him. But through all of this, through all the tears, self doubt, and misery, through all the happy celebrations, through all the joys, I have found a group of women that supports me and holds me up. I have found a tribe.
Now, I was never a clique person in high school. I had a group of friends that had shared... I don't even know any more. Classes? Friends? Who knows. But they got me through high school. And that was about it. Sadly, I never kept in close contact with any of them once that segment of life was over. And that was mostly my fault, I readily admit. Once I entered college and afterwards, I was able to find a few close, crazy, awesome friends who know me well enough to call me out on my crap and that are able to say to me "that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard you say" and mean it. And now, in addition to that, I have the beginnings of a tribe.
I have a group of women who text me daily, whom I laugh with and who laugh at me (I won't live down the Redeemer Sticker debacle anytime soon). Who call me to try to brainstorm to fix my latest issue with G, who don't mind my ramblings or my misery. Who just love because they can and they do. No reason. No rhyme. They just do.
Is it easy to find a tribe? No. And I'm fully aware of that. Maybe that's why I value them more than ever. If you can find one, man, hold onto it with all your might. Because I swear, it will save you.
We've been Texans for over a year now. Wow! It's weird to know that something that I've dreamed about my entire life has come true. I have been talking about moving to Texas for so long that I think my NE friends looked at my intentions to move as one of those obsessions that was just part of me. Like traveling to Germany (which I am still determined to do), and own a cow (which I am not sure whether or not I will do). But yet, here we are, Texans at last. A friend, who also happens to be a Texas transplant, told me that you have to spend at least 10 years in the state before you can call yourself a true Texan. To that, I say BAH! My heart has been here for at least 20 years. I think I've earned the title.
So, what HAS been going on since we've uprooted life and settled so far from home? Oh, so much. We've found an amazing group of friends, a beautiful home and neighborhood, thrown myself headlong into homeschooling, and adopted a dog. And we're helping plant a church. Basically, we've been building a home again. Away from what we know, what we've grown up with, what we've surrounded ourselves with. We're setting down roots. And it's amazing.
And yet, it hasn't been all fun, all the time. It's been hard. For reasons that I can't explain. We discovered that G is most likely profoundly gifted. It sounds like such a blessing and yet, it's really not. It's amazing that God has blessed him with this incredible brain, but it's so hard, so hard to parent him and not lose my sanity in the meantime. It's been hard to leave E behind and know that he's growing up and I'm missing parts of his life that I will not get back. I can't tell you how many nights I've kept myself awake hoping, praying that I've done the right thing for him. But through all of this, through all the tears, self doubt, and misery, through all the happy celebrations, through all the joys, I have found a group of women that supports me and holds me up. I have found a tribe.
Now, I was never a clique person in high school. I had a group of friends that had shared... I don't even know any more. Classes? Friends? Who knows. But they got me through high school. And that was about it. Sadly, I never kept in close contact with any of them once that segment of life was over. And that was mostly my fault, I readily admit. Once I entered college and afterwards, I was able to find a few close, crazy, awesome friends who know me well enough to call me out on my crap and that are able to say to me "that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard you say" and mean it. And now, in addition to that, I have the beginnings of a tribe.
I have a group of women who text me daily, whom I laugh with and who laugh at me (I won't live down the Redeemer Sticker debacle anytime soon). Who call me to try to brainstorm to fix my latest issue with G, who don't mind my ramblings or my misery. Who just love because they can and they do. No reason. No rhyme. They just do.
Is it easy to find a tribe? No. And I'm fully aware of that. Maybe that's why I value them more than ever. If you can find one, man, hold onto it with all your might. Because I swear, it will save you.
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