Tuesday, April 12, 2016

This life, continued.

Oh, gracious, where can I start?

We've been Texans for over a year now. Wow! It's weird to know that something that I've dreamed about my entire life has come true. I have been talking about moving to Texas for so long that I think my NE friends looked at my intentions to move as one of those obsessions that was just part of me. Like traveling to Germany (which I am still determined to do), and own a cow (which I am not sure whether or not I will do). But yet, here we are, Texans at last. A friend, who also happens to be a Texas transplant, told me that you have to spend at least 10 years in the state before you can call yourself a true Texan. To that, I say BAH! My heart has been here for at least 20 years. I think I've earned the title.

So, what HAS been going on since we've uprooted life and settled so far from home? Oh, so much. We've found an amazing group of friends, a beautiful home and neighborhood, thrown myself headlong into homeschooling, and adopted a dog. And we're helping plant a church. Basically, we've been building a home again. Away from what we know, what we've grown up with, what we've surrounded ourselves with. We're setting down roots. And it's amazing.

And yet, it hasn't been all fun, all the time. It's been hard. For reasons that I can't explain. We discovered that G is most likely profoundly gifted. It sounds like such a blessing and yet, it's really not. It's amazing that God has blessed him with this incredible brain, but it's so hard, so hard to parent him and not lose my sanity in the meantime. It's been hard to leave E behind and know that he's growing up and I'm missing parts of his life that I will not get back. I can't tell you how many nights I've kept myself awake hoping, praying that I've done the right thing for him. But through all of this, through all the tears, self doubt, and misery, through all the happy celebrations, through all the joys, I have found a group of women that supports me and holds me up. I have found a tribe.

Now, I was never a clique person in high school. I had a group of friends that had shared... I don't even know any more. Classes? Friends? Who knows. But they got me through high school. And that was about it. Sadly, I never kept in close contact with any of them once that segment of life was over. And that was mostly my fault, I readily admit. Once I entered college and afterwards, I was able to find a few close, crazy, awesome friends who know me well enough to call me out on my crap and that are able to say to me "that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard you say" and mean it. And now, in addition to that, I have the beginnings of a tribe.

I have a group of women who text me daily, whom I laugh with and who laugh at me (I won't live down the Redeemer Sticker debacle anytime soon). Who call me to try to brainstorm to fix my latest issue with G, who don't mind my ramblings or my misery. Who just love because they can and they do. No reason. No rhyme. They just do.

Is it easy to find a tribe? No. And I'm fully aware of that. Maybe that's why I value them more than ever. If you can find one, man, hold onto it with all your might. Because I swear, it will save you.

No comments:

Post a Comment