Five years ago, in a Greek Tavern, my life took the most unexpected turn. I've never really written it all out, so it's high time I have a place to go back and read and dote upon those days. Five years ago tonight, at about this time, I met my soulmate. It took a plane ride across the country, a librarian conference and a step outside my comfort zone to make it all happen, but sometimes those are the things that God pushes into your path to make all the pieces come together.
I had spent most of the day tooling around Portland, Oregon, at a work-related conference. It was the first time that I'd been this far from home in umpteen years and I was super excited because, honestly, life was sucking at home. I was in the midst of horrid infertility treatments and my world was slowly, quietly closing in around me. (If you're really interested in seeing my terrible state of mind, you can read more about it. I'll prewarn you, it's not pretty...). I was also going out there to meet up with my bestest bestest friend, L9, whom I hadn't seen in a few years since she moved away from our tiny world. On the plane ride there, I prayed to God to open a door for me, to give me strength to walk through that door and to guide me in whatever direction He was leading. I had no idea what he had in store for me.
Anyway, the second day of the conference was spent walking around Portland, visiting Powell's and then heading off to a gathering of fellow librarians. Exciting stuff, I know! While there, I talked to a few colleagues and was doing my best to step away from my severe social anxiety and self-medicate with a few beers to prevent me from bolting and hiding in my hotel room until the next day. When most of the colleagues had left, I was feeling a little bold and noticed that some of the younger librarians that I had met at a pre-conference meeting that morning were there playing pool. I somehow bucked up the courage (read: drank more beer) and walked over to chat. They were funny, smart and gladly tried to include me in their conversations which I appreciated. About an hour later, they decided that they were going to head over to an event at a local Portland landmark, Greek Cusina (which I just found out has closed *sob, sob*). We grab a few taxis and I head over with my new stranger-friends.
When we walk into the restaurant, I immediately notice a tall, dark and handsome man standing near the door to the upstairs dining room. I don't even look at him head-on because, honestly, he's like the sun and I'm afraid that if I look directly at him, the image of his face will burn into my memory and looming-divorce-be-damned, I'm still legally a married person at this point. So I head up the stairs into the upstairs bar and linger by the doorway trying to find a seat. When I get upstairs, I realize the place is packed and I stand there, cursing my stupidity for even coming to this place. This isn't like me, and now I remember why I hate crowded rooms and strangers and stepping out of my comfort zone. I notice the tall, dark and handsome man again and realize that somehow, we're both standing in the same group of misfits and the four of us, thrown together because we were all too slow to find another table, sit down at a booth together. It's apparent from the get-go that none of us really know each other, so we just sit there for a few seconds. And that's when I realize that TDH Man is staring at me. And not just the look-at-her-in-polite-conversation looking, I mean leaning-on-his-hands-full-on-staring-without-blinking staring. I do my best to not look at him again and instead answer someone's question of 'Where are you from?'. And then TDH Man opens his mouth and the most sweet, strong Southern lilt comes from his mouth and I'm lost.
By God's hand, we were thrown together, two complete strangers in a town across the country and we end up spending the night drinking beer that tastes like rotten popcorn and laughing and swapping stories about our worlds. At the end of the night, after closing two different bars, we say goodnight and I climb into a cab fairly certain that I'm never going to see this guy again. He's sweet, smart, funny as all get out, and I feel incredibly blessed to have met him. Despite thinking that I'd never see him again, just the act of meeting him opened a door in my life and I knew that God had a plan for me. I knew that no matter what heartache was on the horizon at home, I knew that I would get through it. Little did I know that M, that tall, dark and handsome man, would be the one to help me through the next five years and that this night would be the beginning of our lives together.
My darling M, you are the most amazing person I have ever known. You, my sunshine, are the reason I get up every day and praise God for His gifts. I love you more every day and yes, even though you've put up with me for the past 1,825 days (give or take a few), you have at least 16,425 days to go. At least. So don't go gettin' any crazy ideas, OK?
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