All Hail! The Royal Baby has arrived!
Normally, I don't get swept up in this sort of thing, so imagine my surprise when I found myself scouring my news feed hourly on Monday, July 22. Like the rest of the Internet world, I anxiously awaited news of the newest addition to the English Royal lineage. And when it came, I smiled for them. I was actually happy for them. Why, might you ask, is this blog-worthy?
See, for years, I hid from other people's babies. Pregnancies were way too difficult for me to deal with and so my protective defense was to ignore them. But that didn't mean I didn't feel a stab of pain every time I saw someone pregnant, had a friend tell me they were expecting or saw someone holding a newborn. Infertility did that to me and man, it hurt. Since traveling that road years ago, I've given birth to two more wonderful, beautiful, special children, but the pain of infertility never, ever leaves you. It's like a death in your life: You may move on, but it doesn't go away and the scar that it leaves behind can sometimes be raw for years. I've learned so many things about what I went through. I know that God had a plan for all of it, but I can say that now because I'm through it. Through that journey, He taught me humility, patience, grace, humanity and showed me His power to rule over my life. I won't say I was always at peace with His hand, but I lived through it and I'm a better, stronger person because of it.
Infertility gave me a unique ability to see both sides of the coin. I was one of those people who was lost in the infertility shuffle; I had already had one child naturally, but yet I was unable to get pregnant again and suffered the pain, humiliation and agony of wanting another baby yet unable to get my body to work with me. In the end, it took a terrible toll on me and I will admit I was in complete shock when we had our One-Percent Baby, not once but twice. Even when I was pregnant with my third child, my long-awaited for daughter, I had a friend email me to say she was expecting her third child and for a brief second, I was distraught. The pang of sadness hit me hard and I remember knowing that it was completely irrational, but it was still there. And that's where the Royal Baby comes in...
I didn't feel that sadness at all when I heard the news. In fact, I actually felt joy for them.
And that's when I realized my scar is finally healing.
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